Among my cousins, there were those who finished things with words. Collecting money from debtors and solving the problem by intimidating someone was a simple task for them. Envious of them, I joined their ranks. I remember the first time I saw fear in someone else's eyes. The man's voice was shaking and his hands were shaking. As for me, I tried to pretend to be tough. Something broke inside me. But I didn't lose the secret, I didn't go back.

I received the promised money after finishing the "work". At that time, I said to myself: "It's enough, I won't do such a bad thing again." But once a person gives free rein to his desires, he finds excuses again. Thus, I became a permanent member of the criminal group. I worked for money. 

I still remember the day I was captured. When handcuffs were put on my hands, my car, my shop, my reputation, the money I earned - everything lost its value in an instant. I was confused when the judge read the sentence that I was sentenced to 8 years and 1 month. I closed my eyes and could not see myself or the people around me.

Time passes slowly in prison. Here, a person is alone, face to face with his conscience. He cannot deceive himself. When I analyze and think about my past life, my biggest enemy is not others, but myself. Because no one forced me to engage in extortion. I made the choice, the decision was mine...

At that time, I was not disappointed, I did not have the opportunity to think about it. Today I have plenty of time to think and look for answers to my questions. My sweet grandson Umarbek often appears before my eyes. He often slept in the back seat of my car. Hademay will grow up and go to school. And I will disappear from his life for 8 years. The hardest thing today is not sitting behind bars. The worst is shame. I was ashamed in front of my children, my relatives, my neighborhood. When Umarbek grows up, he realizes where his grandfather is and why he was imprisoned. I regret thinking about these things.

If someone reads these lines and is a criminal 

if he returns, then my belated regret will have benefited someone. The value of freedom is well known to those who have lost it. And I realized this truth too late..."

The prisoner's words were written by Mahliyo Kholova

moved to white.